Don't Force Yourself to be Happy About Something You Hate. Instead . . . .

Maybe you’ve heard people tell you when you’re angry, worried, sad, or jealous, “Let it go,” or “Stop thinking about it.”

Or maybe you’ve read ads telling you, “Release negative emotions with essential oils [or yoga, running, etc.]”

What all these suggestions miss, lovely and well-intended as they are, is that you’re never going to feel better until the thing causing your emotion change for the better.

In The Happiness Path, I explain that our emotions are like the oil gauge on a car’s dashboard. The red light indicating the car needs oil is only going to go away when oil has been added to the car. 

Ignoring the red light is not an option. You must fix the problem or you’ll e creating even more damage.

Ignoring your red-light emotions is the same. You must fix the problem for the red light to go away.

How, you wonder?

Here’s how.

1. Feel the feeling. Even numbness is a red-light feeling.
2. Ask yourself what you fear. Trust me, if you’re experiencing a red-light feeling, you’ve got a fear or two (or three or four) going on.
3. For each fear, ask yourself what you want instead. Don’t just say the opposite, i.e., “I fear failing so I want to succeed.” In reality, you probably want to shine. So figure out what you want instead. (Read more about discovering your desires.)
4. Imagine it. Take a few seconds to actually see it in your head. Do you get a green-light feeling? Then you’ve pegged what you want. Or do you still have a red-light feeling? If so, keep searching your mind and heart for what you really want. It helps to imagine something that doesn’t hurt others in any way. You having what you want shouldn’t take away from someone else. Want good for yourself and others.
5. Then trust your creative energy and the Universe to do their mojo and create what you want.

Note: I go into much more detail about discovering what you really want, finding the subconscious beliefs inhibiting your success, and subsequently creating what you want in my book The Happiness Path. Get your copy on Amazon. Softback or electronic/Kindle.

Here’s an example from my own life using The Happiness Path process:
In 1998 my daughter Lisa, who was a senior in college, called me in early October to tell me she wanted to drop out of school.

I was floored. My anguish and sadness knew no bounds. I had to do something, and yet I felt so helpless.

But I’d just published Take a Moment and Create Your Life, so I knew exactly what I had to do. I got out my journal and wrote, “What do I fear?”

That was easy. I feared she’d fail. I feared she’d give up on herself. I feared she’d hit a wall in her work as an art major.

Then I wrote, “What do I want.”

This too was easy. I wanted her to succeed. I wanted her to be proud of herself. I wanted her work to excel and thrive.

Then I imagined her calling me on the phone and excitedly saying, “Mom, guess what! Mom, guess what!” I never filled in the what. I just focused on her happy voice, because it made me feel happy too.

Two weeks went by, with me focusing on her calling and say, “Mom, guess what!” Then I got the call. She said, and I kid you not, “Mom, guess what!” She’d earned a slot in a group show at school.

Then I got another “Mom, guess what!” call. She’d won a scholarship that paid for her last two trimesters before graduation.

This kept happening all year. Ultimately, she won a scholarship and a fellowship, and she earned the Dean’s undergraduate award.

Try this out for the next day or two. What new reality do you create for yourself?

Have friends who might find this information useful? Please share this with them.

Want to learn more about turning your emotions and bad luck into golden opportunities? Read The Happiness Path. Available on Amazon, softback or electronic/Kindle. Learn more about The Happiness Path.

Get your copy of The Happiness Path at Amazon.

$11.99 USD

Paperback or Kindle